Fellow Nigerians, I, the honourable aka Igomidodo, present to the
hoi polloi an indelible mooting between our Nobel laureate and
Mrs.Goodluck. Nigerians, home and abroad, have cracked their medulla
oblongata with regards to this debate. Here is what would happen:
“I don’t know why this agbaya, this man that is a liker of books
concentrate on books and allow those of us who know the business of
first ladyship and politics concentrate on potlitics. It has become
unbecoming to witness all these writers write nonsense. Where is Reuben
Abati?”
“Your gobbledygook, your mien, your physiognomy exhibits folly.
Degrading your place as a woman with the first lady’s garment is a
shame. Yours is the definition of the hen that fails to cater to its
eggs.”
“They said it! They said it! That people like you are enemies of the
state. You have nothing good to say. Look at all these big grammars on
me alone. The first lady abused by this mere professor. See his white
hair! Why are we having this debate sef? I need my speechwriters. When I
have my speech, we would see who would win. Haba, Igomidodo, what
warrants this kind of harshness on me. See him calling me a chicken.
What! Do you know my husband is the president? The president of the
giant of Africa nations, the one who can dial Obama and Obama will pick;
the one who can walk into 10 Downing streets.”
“Study! Study. Imagine Michelle Obama stopping a state governor in America. Do you…”
“Shut up, Wole! This see finish would be addressed. You cannot, in
front of all these Nigerians, and Igomidodo, abuse me. Michelle Obama is
not a Nigerian and she does not know what it means to be a first lady. I
cannot sit down on this seat and watch you insult me. Where is Reuben
Abati?
“Akpati, sorry Abati, cannot save you here. Now, first lady is not a
position, it is a mere title and should not be abused. How can a
president’s wife blatantly place the country’s coat of arms on every,
and any attire she wears? The matter is…
“You are the one who is blatant. Your family is blatant. All your
generation is blatant. I cannot debate with this blatant man. What? Am I
the only one who is first lady? Why are you blatant? Why are you
jealous? God will not agree with you. May God blatant you!”
“We are here to talk about your brazen behaviours…”
“Brazier behaviours?”
“Can you allow me speak?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I am the first lady. The one who commands the commander-in-thief and
the one who cooks for him. The one who changes his singlet and shorts.
How dare you speak to me like that? So this is how you pay back our
generosity?”
“You are a total disgrace to this nation.”
“We know how much we paid you for that project, what’s the name of
that project again, bring back the book. I know how much Jona gave to
you. This ingrate. Now, you go around and open my back to show the
public my stretch marks. Is this how you were trained?”
“This is no debate. This woman has gone insane. She is simply an illiterate.”
“Illiterate? Me,illiterate? Do you know that when you have money in
Nigeria, you are literate? Why do children go to school? To read and
become somebody rich in the future and no, I am not an illiterate. I
have read the complete works of the real WS, the one from England. Even
Paradise Lost, I have read it. Listen to me; I like the fact that we can
exchange words via writing. I cannot come and be saying many things
here.
“There is nothing to say to you. I have said everything.”
“Again, in 2015 you will see me with my coat of arms denge-posing.
And nothing, nothing you can do. This position of mine has been ordained
from heaven. If you like, go to all those gods that you worship and
report me to them. They will do nothing, as my God of hosts will send
his holy fire to destroy them. I know that this entire thing is envy. It
is thatAmaechi I blame. If not for Amaechi, that rat, would you have
the mouth to talk to me? My mouth is paining me. But, where is Reuben
abati?
Bayelsa teachers abandon classroom for NYSC members
BY Samuel Oyadongha
Yenagoa—Troubled by reported absence of teachers from schools in Bayelsa State, especially in the riverine communities, Bayelsa State Government has called on Bayelsans to report all such erring tutors.
Most teachers posted to schools in the hinterland of Bayelsa State hardly stay at their stations, leaving National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, members posted to such schools to do the bulk of the academic work.
Consequently, the government has provided two hot lines for Bayelsans to report all such teachers found wanting in the discharge of their duties.
The measure, according to a statement by the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Mr. Daniel Iworiso-Markson, was part of efforts aimed at ensuring the implementation and proper delivery of the government’s restoration programme in the educational sector.
He said: “Bayelsans in all parts of the state have been urged to report classroom teachers, who absent themselves from duty for appropriate disciplinary action henceforth.”
Yenagoa—Troubled by reported absence of teachers from schools in Bayelsa State, especially in the riverine communities, Bayelsa State Government has called on Bayelsans to report all such erring tutors.
Most teachers posted to schools in the hinterland of Bayelsa State hardly stay at their stations, leaving National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, members posted to such schools to do the bulk of the academic work.
Consequently, the government has provided two hot lines for Bayelsans to report all such teachers found wanting in the discharge of their duties.
The measure, according to a statement by the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Mr. Daniel Iworiso-Markson, was part of efforts aimed at ensuring the implementation and proper delivery of the government’s restoration programme in the educational sector.
He said: “Bayelsans in all parts of the state have been urged to report classroom teachers, who absent themselves from duty for appropriate disciplinary action henceforth.”
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