Cyberbullying: a mother's fight for justice

World Class

Liese Stanley sought answers from Ask.fm after her teenage daughter received sickening abuse, but the site stopped responding to her emails. So she began to target its advertisers

Liese Stanley says she felt sick when she saw the abuse her daughter had received on Ask.fm. Photograph: Adrian Sherratt for the Guardian

When Liese Stanley saw the messages that her then 13-year-old daughter had received on the social network Ask.fm, she felt sick with shock. This wasn't normal bullying. Her daughter wasn't being called too fat or too thin, or criticised for her choice in music. She was being threatened with a sadistic rape attack. Her abuser also threatened to attack the schoolgirl with a hammer "to cave in the back of your head".
Stanley's story is almost certainly not unique. This week Ask.fm has faced a barrage of criticism for failing to tackle cyberbullying on its site after the suicide of 14-year-old Hannah Smith.

On Wednesday, police investigating abusive and explicit messages posted on Twitter to a series of high-profile women including the Walthamstow MP Stella Creasy and the feminist writer Caroline Criado-Perez made a third arrest.

But how do you get justice if you are a mother and your 13-year-old has been targeted in the way Stanley's child has been?
You don't, says Stanley.

"It's so frustrating. When you talk to police and they say they can't do anything because the company is based in Latvia, when each organisation sends you to someone else and says it is not their responsibility, you feel completely helpless, completely let down."
She describes her first reaction to first reading the abuse: "You feel sick and incredibly protective and vulnerable, you want to protect your daughter from this but actually you can't do anything," she says. "Parents are told they have to be aware of what their kids are doing online, but we had already had those discussions."

Her anger grew as she found herself repeatedly ignored and redirected by various organisations she thought might help. Avon and Somerset police said the threats were some of the worst online abuse they had seen, but they could not take further action as the site was based in Latvia. ChildLine referred her to the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (Ceop).
The children's commissioner's office wrote: "We will be forwarding your email to [Ceop] which is part of UK law enforcement and as such can apply the full range of policing powers in tackling the sexual abuse of children."

Stanley received an email from the children's commissioner in June which included a response from Ceop, which stated: "We have tried reaching out to this company before but received no response. The reporting person appears to be reaching out as they are not satisfied with what the police achieved, however there is nothing further Ceop will be able to do as, as stated, Ceop have not been able to establish contact with Ask.fm either."

A Ceop spokeswoman told the Guardian that cyberbullying was not in its remit, but it supported "partner organisations" such as the NSPCC's ChildLine and BeatBullying. She said Ceop received "a relatively large number of referrals" about Ask.fm, mainly concerning bullying but also in relation to sexual chat and imagery. "Ceop will investigate any cases where it is clear that a child is at risk of sexual abuse or where a child sex offence is discussed or disclosed, and this appears to be a rare occurrence on Ask.fm," she said.

For Stanley, this was another example of an organisation passing the buck. "Everyone agrees that this is a terrible thing, but children are killing themselves and absolutely nothing is being done," she says.
This week, fresh from his holiday, the prime minister condemned Ask.fm and called for a boycott. But Stanley remains sceptical. "David Cameron says he's going to crack down on these things but it's just good soundbites," she says. "That might help you win an election, but it doesn't help me."

By Thursday this week, advertisers such as Specsavers and Vodafone were pulling their advertising from Ask.fm, which – after days of near radio silence – issued a long statement.

It stressed that the site had a report button for abuse, questions could only be published when answered, users could choose not to receive anonymous questions, and it had a "team of human moderators that works around the clock … ensuring that anything of a sexual, pornographic or violent nature is removed." It also sought to "reassure parents that in almost all cases it is possible for Ask.fm to identify users", adding that in "extreme circumstances – such as those we have experienced this week", it would work with authorities. On Friday it announced that law firm Mishcon de Reya would conduct "a full and independent audit of our site and its safety features".

Stanley repeatedly emailed Ask.fm, starting in November, asking what action it would take, whether the abuser would be banned and whether their details would be sent to the police. She also asked for a copy of its guidelines on abuse.

Ask.fm responded in November: "Hello. Sorry, but we can not give this kind of information. By the way, it is possible to block anonymous questions or select 'Do not allow anonymous questions' in privacy settings. With love, ask.fm team."

To another request for the guidelines, it replied: "Sorry for misunderstanding. We collect all the cases regarding abuses, and investigate it asap. So, if you have any complaints, please feel free to send it to us."
Stanley has sent eight emails, and she says the company no longer replies. It did finally remove the abuse her daughter received, without notifying her, weeks after it had been reported.

Stanley also emailed Google, whose AdSense advertising platform is used on the site, and says she received no response. A Google spokesman said the company considered every complaint made to it, but only gave out automated responses when complaints about sites where it hosted adverts were received.
"We don't have any incentive to serve ads on webpages that break our policies," the spokesman said. "It is not good for our users, our advertisers or us. When we receive a complaint, we review the site in question and take action if necessary."

With few options left, Stanley decided to take matters into her own hands, contacting companies that advertised on the site directly. "My daughter and her friends just said this is what happens online, they just accept it," she says. "But the thing that keeps me going is the thought that this just isn't right, it's hideous. These sites are happy to take advertisers' money, but show no responsibility to their users."
Some of the companies she emailed – including British Airways, Thomson Cruises, Parent magazine, the National Accident Helpline, Oxfam and Nottingham Trent University – replied saying the adverts had, in the main, been placed with an agency, often via Google's AdSense, and promising not to advertise on Ask.fm again.

The vice-president of BonitaSoft, a business solutions firm, wrote back personally saying: "I am the father to two young children and take the issue of bullying and threats very seriously … I have researched this site and found many things I do not like. I have instructed our advertising operations manager to remove our advertising from Ask.fm."

Others such as Asda and McDonald's sent only an automated reply, but Stanley felt she was getting somewhere. Months later, she feels that her battle to be heard has been an uphill struggle but she is not giving up. She is considering setting up a Twitter campaign calling for other affected parents to target advertisers.
"It's sad that money talks more than a 13-year-old girl being threatened with rape and murder," she says. "And it's scary that I feel I have to do this by myself, but I will keep plugging away."

Responses to Liese Stanley's emails

Thanks for taking the time to contact us. Your feedback is important to us, as it allows us to keep improving our products and services to ensure we are getting it right. We aim to respond to all emails within 2-3 working days. Asda

I have made sure our partner company are aware of this – they have apologised, reassured us it is an extremely rare occurrence and removed it immediately from their network. I'd like to apologise again for this, and reiterate our thanks for bringing this to our attention. Thomson Cruises

We have blocked that site from our re-marketing list with Google, so we won't appear on there again. Additionally, we have highlighted the site as an issue with Google. I hope this information is helpful. Again I am sorry that your daughter has had to endure such threats. Oxfam

I am a vice-president at BonitaSoft and responsible for all advertising operations. I thank you for your note. I am the father to two young children and take the issue of bullying and threats very seriously. You were correct in pointing out that our advertisements may have shown up on Ask.fm due to our advertising programs with Google. We do not specifically choose where our ads show on the Google network.

However, any site that has a bad reputation like [Ask.fm] is not where I want our company brand displayed. I have researched this site and found many things I do not like. I have instructed our advertising operations manager to remove our advertising from Ask.fm. Mac McConnell, of BonitaSoft
We would like to wish you and you daughter all the best in the future and hope that you and your daughter receive the justice you both deserve for the terrible experience your daughter has suffered. National 

Accident Helpline
At British Airways we have strict guidelines which govern where we place our advertisements. We do not and have never advertised on Ask.fm or any other unregulated website. In this case it appears that an agency working for one of our partners accidentally placed an advert on the site. As soon as we alerted them, this was immediately rectified. British Airways

We have discussed the matter with our network providers and have asked them to exclude Ask.fm from our marketing campaigns moving forwards. American Golf

Source: The Guardian